I have had a glorious day today! I went for a walk and decided to address some of the things which have been bothering me. These things which have been troubling me could be described as relationship dynamics or patterns, either way they are situations, events and interactions which occur between me and the other members of my family. I noticed that certain unpleasant events and interactions occur repeatedly, and my tendency in the past has been to attribute these occurrences to the other people involved, laying blame and thus making myself the victim. A Victim of Circumstances!
Being a victim is not attractive to me, it's such a disempowered position to hold in life. So, what could I do instead?
A couple of days ago I happened to read a chapter of my sisters new book, "The Relationship Revelation" by Pollyanna Darling (www.imaginariabooks.com), the chapter I read was called "It's All You." My sister is a follower and practitioner of The Magician's Way philosophy, it has brought her great joy and success and lead her to writing her fantastic book. So I am reading it partly because she is my sister and partly because she is an inspiration to me and many others. Ah yes so the "It's All You" chapter, it reminded me of something Pollyanna and I have talked about a great deal - you get what you expect to get!
What I mean by this is that in my experience (oh no, more history?) beliefs that I hold about the world and other people affect what happens in my reality. At first I found this a ridiculous idea and I certainly didn't want to agree with it, but after a while of experimenting with it I had to admit that it did appear to be true! I have no idea how it really works, but it goes something like this (and it can seem something of a chicken and egg scenario):
- My boss is always angry and disappointed at me, no matter how hard I try it makes no difference.
The obvious thing to do would be to focus on what I think I'm doing wrong and try to rectify it, or to address my boss directly to find out what they think of the situation. However all of this may actually be unnecessary if the answer lies with me - if I am the creator (not the victim). Just suppose the situation was actually caused by a belief I held, for example - I am unsuccessful, or other people don't like me - I would always be approaching the situation from that orientation, and lo and behold it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy. The other person fills the role I expect them to.
Think of what you would love to happen (I hear Pollyanna saying) and focus on that instead. That way when you arrive in the interaction that has been troubling you, you will be actively holding what you would love in your mind - I would love success, I love getting on well with other people.
The only way to find out that this works is to try it, and perhaps it's more complicated than I have described it here, but I have tried it many times with great success. I don't know why it works but it does.
So today on my beautiful walk I spent time alone thinking about the things in my family life that had been troubling me, and I searched my mind for the limiting beliefs which might be influencing how those situations played out, and then I focused on what I would love. The next thing I did was to spend some time giving thanks for my family, I focused on everything I love about them and held that in my mind for some time.
At home this evening we had a lovely time, I kept my focus on what I would love our interactions to be like, and I kept CHOOSING THOUGHTS WHICH SUPPORTED WHAT I WOULD LOVE. There were a few cross words here and there but mostly I really enjoyed my evening, I was surrounded by loving smiling faces and now I feel euphoric and joyful. I 'm so glad I started reading my sisters book, I didn't realise it would support my journey so well, but it has! Yippeeee.
Today I am Thankful for my sisters and brothers
I am Thankful for the reminder that I am responsible for my reality
I am Thankful for scots pine trees
I am Thankful for my creative power
I am Thankful for owls
I am Thankful for choice
I am Thankful for kisses
I am Thankful for change
I am Thankful for hugs
I am Thankful for LOVE.